My Happy Ending
by 0oxymoronic0
Summary: "And in those eyes of perfection I saw his whole life crumbling and decaying before my eyes." When Kyo finally finds a way to beat Yuki, it might not be 'right', or 'fair', but it's all he has left. But can he still do it? KyoYuki
1. Yuki

**A/N**

**Dedicated to all the lovely readers of Love Can Ignite the Stars, after this story the sequel's on its way, I PROMISE! This differs slightly from LCITS in that it's just from Kyo's point of view.**

**Thanks for reading, please review ;)**

**Disclaimer: If it was, I wouldn't need to write the story, would I?**

**Warning: profanity.**

**Yuki**

This story isn't a fairytale.

This story is about life. Real life. My life. And as you all know, in real life there isn't a prince, a princess, a big castle and a happy ending. In real life, people get hurt. In real life, we hurt people, and we feel bad.

In real life there are no happy endings.

* * *

"DAMMIT!"

Life sucks enough without being woken by a cry of "Kyonkitchi!" from the _last _person you want to meet on your only day off for three weeks. I glared across the table at the man staring back at me, entirely too much amusement in his eyes for me to be at all happy.

"Why the _hell _are you here, today of _all days_?"

Ayame mock-simpered, and looked balefully at me. Shigure wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and glared at me. "He d-doesn't like me, 'Gure…" he sobbed theatrically, looking at me with large, gold eyes.

"That's ridiculous, Aaya! Who wouldn't like such a gorgeous man as you?" he asked, and leant in to rub their noses together. Aaya beamed, me now forgotten, and turned back to gabble at the dumb Dog.

I stormed out of the room and, guess what, bumped into Yuki. I glared at him accusingly. "For God's sake, sort him out."

Yuki glared back just as hard. "Why me?"

I snarled slightly under my breath. "He's your brother. He's here to see you."

Yuki looked at me coolly. "He's your cousin. And he's here to see Shigure."

I snarled under my breath, my hands hot and itchy as I pictured laying them into his perfect body. He merely raised an eyebrow and pushed past me, facing the full onslaught of Ayame Sohma. I glared at his back and ran up the stairs, collapsing onto my bed and gripping my pillow angrily.

God, how I _hated _Yuki Sohma.

* * *

Duck, weave, bob, block, block. Right hook, right hook, duck. Left foot, left foot, palm – hit the floor. Stand up. Kick. Push. Thrash.

Tohru walked in, and both of us froze in the moment, my foot spinning towards her – where his chest had been merely seconds before – and with a smooth coiling of his legs Yuki jumped to protect her.

But he misjudged the jump, slipping on the groceries Tohru had bought, and instead of moving them to a smooth safety he landed straight in the path of my foot, sending him spinning into a nearby window. Tohru screamed and fainted, and I swore under my breath, running forward and pulling him onto his back. He whimpered softly, his eyes fluttering and closing. I swore again, my hands slipping – I realised then, with a numbing fear, that they were covered in blood. I turned him over as gently as I could, to find millions of glass shards forced into his back. I swore again, ripping the remains of his shirt off to try and staunch the bleeding.

Shigure was on the phone to Ayame, so I scooped Yuki up into my arms and began to mount the stairs, wobbling slightly. I dumped him on my bed and ran into the bathroom, fetching a bucket and a cloth, and at the last moment locating Tohru's eyebrow tweezers (God knows what Shigure had been doing with those) and running back into the bedroom. I propped him up on his side and gently began cleaning the blood off, rubbing in soothing circles against his skin.

None of the pieces of glass were in too deep, and I methodically began removing each little piece and staunching the blood as it began to heal. Shigure glanced in and his eyes widened at the sight of me crouched over Yuki, covered in blood and a manic look in my eye as I continued to remove the tiny little fragments. I glared at him. "Call Hatori!" I snapped, and the Dog whimpered.

"There's n-no need, I'm fine," the Rat snapped from underneath me, and I swore under my breath. I hadn't felt him wake up, but as he straightened up he winced, and I rested a hand on his shoulder.

"You probably shouldn't move." He glared at me for stating the obvious before turning towards Shigure in the doorway.

"If you really want to help – which I sincerely doubt – go get some bandages. And make sure Honda-san is alright." Shigure's eyes glittered at the idea of being alone with Tohru as he pranced off, and I glared at Yuki.

"What did you do that for? He'll be molesting her or something by now!"

Yuki glared back at me. "Well, you can't go because you're helping me. I don't trust Shigure to do it, and Honda-san would probably faint from all the blood. Now get on with it. Your hands are beginning to make me feel dirty."

I gave him one last scowl before returning to my duty, hands ghosting over his back as I tried to remove the shards as gently as I could. I did try my best, but occasionally his back would shift slightly under my fingers as he gasped, or winced, and at those moments I rested my hand on his shoulder briefly in reassurance and a silent apology before returning to the task in hand. It took us well over an hour to completely remove the pieces of glass, by which time we were both exhausted and covered in his blood.

His eyes were blurry and out of focus, and I frowned at him. "We should probably call Hatori. You've lost a lot of blood."

His response was a glare. "I'm fine. What do you care, anyway?"

It took me a moment to respond, partly because I had to ask myself that question. "'Cause Tohru'll be freaked enough already without you transforming," I muttered, but it was a pathetic excuse.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to get a shower." He stood and walked towards the door, pausing for a moment as he slid the door open, not understanding why he was three doors down from where he normally found himself.

"I didn't think you'd want to get your sheets messy," I mumbled, and began balling my own up with our blood-soaked clothes, and I felt a hot gaze slowly dwindle and leave me as he slid the door shut. I glared at the sheets in my hand for a moment, my body on fire with disgust at the blood covering my hands and my room and covering everything in a gut-wrenching stink. I threw it in an angry bundle in the washing machine, put it on a thorough wash and stomped back upstairs angrily.

Yuki walked out of the shower as I got to the top of the landing, and after sending me one, last evil glare he turned towards the door to his room and walked inside, giving me a clear view of his marred back as he entered. I ran into the bathroom and tore off my clothes, scrubbing at my body to try and get rid of the stench covering me that was making my stomach turn. I spent at least an hour in the shower, despite Shigure's complaints about the water bill, before stomping back into my room and sitting on my bed, glaring angrily.

I couldn't spend long in my room, however, because it positively _reeked _of Yuki. His blood appeared to have got _everywhere_, especially on my bed – even after I'd changed the sheets. With a snarl I flounced up and raced out, clambering swiftly onto the roof. I sat and stared angrily at a nondescript patch of tree for a while, hating my life.

God, how I _hate _Yuki Sohma.

* * *

I walked along the corridor some hours later, and tripped over a pile of bandages in the middle of the hallway. I swore, falling to the floor with a curse and landing flat on my palms. They stung angrily at the contact and I rubbed them, trying to get the blood moving again, before turning to look back at what I'd tripped over. The damn dog had fetched the bandages a mere _three hours_late. I sighed and scooped them up, walking into Yuki's room.

He was turning and moaning on his bed, a soft sheen covering his forehead. I scowled and threw a bandage on his chest, causing him to gasp and shoot up, his eyes spinning wildly around the room. "What do you want?" he snapped after a moment of regaining his composure.

"You left the bandages off. It won't heal unless you bandage it." I waited for another 'why do you care?' but it didn't come, him being too tired and too annoyed and merely snatching them off me.

I watched with some amusement as he tried to bandage his own back for a few moments, before he turned and glared at me. "Come on then. Stop being a stubborn idiot and tie these for me."

Smirking at his defeat, I walked forward. He turned around and I crouched behind him, running my hand across the scars softly. His breath hitched slightly at my touch, but my stomach churned in revulsion at the touch. I quickly and efficiently tied him up and backed off, not looking around as I left the room.

As I lay in my bed I tried very, very hard not to think about how vulnerable Yuki had looked lying in that bed before. I'd never really considered it before, but Yuki was so very weak when he was asleep. It would give me the perfect opportunity to attack him, if he was asleep, and too damn lazy to defend himself.

Then again… the last time I tried that I ended up getting even more humiliated. But… today I'd actually hurt him, cut his skin. I'd made him bleed. But even that was because he was protecting Tohru. I shuddered at the memory. I'd come so close to hurting her… I had to end this, and fast. If I didn't beat him soon, not only would I… I… lose the bet, I'd end up killing all three of us.

I frowned for a moment, thinking back to when I'd entered his bedroom. His body had been on fire… and the way his body trembled under my touch…

I think I'd found out my way to beat Yuki Sohma.

* * *

"God knows where the bastard is, and God cares either." I smirked slightly at my little joke, and slumped back onto the grass. Haru glared at me for a moment, before letting out a slow sigh and sitting down beside me. I pursed my lips slightly, ruffling a hand through my hair and glaring out across the playing field. I watched the younger years making a fool of themselves with a ball, suppressing an ironic smirk. "If you're going to sit there and stare at me, do it where I can't see you. It's beginning to annoy me."

Haru jumped slightly beside me, looking away with enough embarrassment to tell me that my suspicions were right. I smirked slightly and looked aside, running a hand through my hair again. "I'm not staring at you," he muttered, but I didn't waste myself on a reply. He sighed and fidgeted with the grass, pulling out a few idle strands. "I was just wondering…"

I rolled my eyes. "If it's about the scars on Yuki's back, it was his damn fault, so don't get onto me about it."

Haru's eyes went wide for a moment. Shit. He didn't know about the accident yet. I coughed slightly and looked aside. He blinked, shook his head slightly and sighed. "Stopping you guys from fighting is not going to happen, is it?" I gave him a customary 'I-am-going-to-rip-out-your-insides-and-eat-them-in-front-of-you' look, the one I tend to give when the Rat is mentioned, and he rolled his eyes. "I didn't think so." He sighed slightly. "I just… wondered… whether…"

I groaned slightly. "For crying out loud, jump the bastard already and stop shitting around. I'm sick of trying to encourage sideways glances."

He flinched. "Whatever. I just… thought… whether you thought you thought he was, you know…"

My eyes went wide for a moment, and my heart accelerated. No… I didn't want to talk about that… I can't think about that… "Look, I'll admit, out of the two of you, he's more fuckable. But that's not a good thing if he's a guy. So can I be _alone _now?"

He glared at me for a moment, before sighing and standing up, gazing over the playing field.

"I love him too, Kyo."

What the _hell _had he meant by that?

**A/N**

**Ok… that didn't really push 6 pages, but it kinda did… aww, leave me alone, I have no inspiration…**

**The chapter name was supposed to be referring to Yuki's smell... shrugs**

**Review? Pretty please?**


	2. Phase One

**A/N**

**Aww, so many reviews already! Thank you so much! This one's dedicated to Restless-Dreamer94, because she didn't do LCITS so she's new, but you will all get mentions soon. And cyberplushies of Kyo and Yuki making out. –drools-**

**Yuki and Kyo finally get it on in this chapter! It took much less time than LCITS, but… nyeh. The storyline is really different in this.**

**Warning: Very evil Kyo, kissing, violence, some references to liking blood. –shrugs-**

**Disclaimer: Nya.**

**Phase One**

I slammed him into a wall with a snarl. "What the hell are you talking about?" I growled, a hand clenching onto the collar of his battered shirt. He smirked at me malevolently, but there was still no reply. Another snarl, and I brought my fist up to meet his face – but he pushed off me, and I was on the floor staring up at him as his hand swung to meet my cheek.

"You love him. You can't stop _staring _at him." My hands met his chest and I pushed up, sending him spinning to the ground beside me, and then I was straddling him, pinning his hands above his waist to lean in close.

"I hate Yuki. I will always hate Yuki. But… as for the looks…" I leant in close to whisper in his ear. "I think you'll find your precious little Rat has been casting them at _me._" Haru flinched and turned his face away.

"Oh." We looked up and each emitted a small noise; mine a low snarl, his a strangled yelp. Yuki said nothing, simply staring at us. I glanced down momentarily. I was stretched over him, with my legs around his waist and my hand pinning his arms above him. When Yuki had walked in, our faces had been centimetres apart as I resisted the urge to headbutt him. "Excuse me," he muttered, his face a delicate shade of pink, and he turned around and walked out of the door.

I smirked slightly as Haru swore under his breath and shoved me to the floor. I lay, sprawled across the floor, as I realised that this was so _perfect _for what I had in mind.

Naturally, Yuki avoided Haru and me for the rest of the day, though I saw that Haru had obviously tried to explain things to him. But, despite the fact he never once spoke to me, his eyes practically never left any part of my body; they were always constantly devouring me, watching me, burning into me. And I made sure I put on a show; I would always swagger my hips slightly, or stretch out my legs in an over-exaggerated way. And I could _feel _his shudder everytime I did.

Suspicions: confirmed. Yuki fancied me to _hell_.

It really disgusted me. I mean, _really _disgusted me. Me? Oh, I hated him. I absolutely, utterly _hated _him. He was the Rat, I was the Cat; we were _enemies_. He had _tricked _me, taunted me, and patronised me on too many occasions for me to even contemplate counting.

But somewhere along the line, he'd stopped hitting me _quite_ so hard. He looked at me more often… he spent less time with Tohru and more time fighting with me, whether it was bickering or actually beating the crap out of me. Either way, put that together with his erotic dreams I could hear _very _clearly three doors down, and I had pretty much guessed that the Rat had stopped _hating _me.

* * *

"Hey." I blinked and looked up, finding myself about three millimetres away from aforementioned annoyance's back. His smell wrapped itself around my face in a way that made me want to throw up, and I resisted the urge to push him away as I tried to understand what the hell was going on. Tohru was only a few metres ahead of us, looking back worriedly in case we were going to start fighting in the middle of the high street.

"Watch where you're going, damn Rat," I snapped and pushed him to one side, storming ahead and waiting for the punch that would send me into the steady stream of oncoming traffic. But it didn't come; I didn't look back, but I felt his hurt eyes lingering on my back as I walked away.

"Kyoooon-kuuuuuun!"

I snarled again. "What the hell is _he _still doing here?" I snapped, and Shigure winked at me.

"Calm down, Kyo-kun! 'Tori's busy enough at the moment without us having to call him out to deal with your heart attack! Look, there's a vein throbbing in your temple! That's not good!"

Aaya leant over Shigure's shoulder and looked at me thoughtfully. "I've seen that expression before! It's the one 'Tori always gives us!"

Shigure gasped in mock horror. "Nooooo! Kyon-Kyon can't turn into another 'Tori, that would be so boooooooring!"

"Mind you…" Ayame purred, running his fingers along Shigure's shoulderblade. "It would have its advantages…"

Shigure grinned. "Yes… and seeing as Ha'ri's so busy nowadays… hey, don't do that!" Unfortunately, the swing I'd aimed at Shigure's face had missed as he'd dodged nimbly to one side, and he now looked at me with a hurt expression. "You're so meeeean, Kyonkitchi!"

I let out another low snarl and stomped towards the door, wondering why the hell I'd let myself become trapped in the living room with them in the first place. Sometimes I thought I brought it upon myself.

Oh, and you know what happens next; Yuki walked down the stairs, in an attempt to satiate his brother's hyperactivity. However, his foot froze half-step as he caught sight of me, and his eyes went wide for a moment. I smirked slightly and began to mount the stairs, completely ignoring the fact that he was coming down. "Move, Rat," I snapped, and pushed out an arm to move him aside.

As I expected, he put his own up. "Stop encouraging him, idiot," he snapped back, and I stared at him incredulously.

"Me, stop _encouraging _him? Excuse me, but last time I checked your idiot of a brother does _not_need any encouragement from anyone!" I yelled, and he rolled his eyes slightly.

"You could just ignore him," he muttered through gritted teeth as he rubbed his temples.

I snorted. "What, like you were on your way to doing? You were going to tell them to shut up, same as me!" I snapped.

He flinched and looked aside. "Look, I've already got enough of a headache without you starting to yell at me too. I would like to _try _and study, so for crying out loud leave them alone and let's hope he gets bored and goes home."

"Hey! I am _trying _to ignore him! It's just pretty hard when him and that idiot Dog start nearly making out in front of your eyes! Not good imagery!" I saw him flinch and his arm fell to his side. I smirked nastily, my eyes reaching up to his. "But that would be the second time today you've been mentally scared, hmm? I suppose it is rather hard to ignore, isn't it?"

He turned away, head hanging down. His shoulders were shaking slightly. "Leave me alone," he muttered and turned around, walking back upstairs quickly. I smirked and turned around, walking back downstairs and out of the house to lie on the roof.

And when I finally did, I tried desperately to ignore the quiet sobs which crept from Yuki's open window.

* * *

As the days went by, I tried to make sure Yuki saw me around Haru more, whether it was imbetween classes, when I cast suggestive gestures and looks I made sure only Yuki and I understood, or whether I simply went and sat next to him at lunch. And he _hated _it, I could see. He became steadily more and more dishevelled, his grades landsliding in front of his eyes as he spent more and more sleepless nights.

Haru kept slamming me into walls during breaktime, demanding to know what I was doing to him and why he was so _ill_, but I only ensured that Yuki walked in on us as his body was pressed flush against mine, making the Rat blush and quickly walk away, and Haru running off after him.

Life for me was pretty damn good. I was slowly destroying my worst enemy from the inside out, meaning that firstly I wasn't spending most of my time being insulted and/or getting the crap beaten out of me. Secondly, I got to spend more and more time with Tohru… but, of course, she was pretty worried about Yuki, which kind of ruined the time we did have together. Lastly, with every passing day I was coming closer and closer to beating him completely.

I was just waiting for the opportune moment.

* * *

It came one of the times we were unfortunately forced to be in the same room as each other, which was really annoying me anyway. He was pretty out of it, his eyes glazed and heavily rimmed from lack of sleep. I watched him with some interest, seeing how each of his movements were sluggish and slow.

I realised, then, that if it had been my purpose to physically beat him, then now would have been the perfect opportunity. But my plan consisted of something entirely different, and to carry it out I needed to wait until Tohru, Uotani and Hanajima had left the room. Thankfully, this took only a handful of minutes, and it took him a painstaking thirty seconds to realise we were in the room together.

He glanced at me, and made to leave, but I beat him to it, slamming the door shut and gazing at him. For the first time in my entire life he couldn't meet my gaze; instead, he turned his face to the floor and his hands balled into fists. "Move, Cat," he muttered. I didn't. "Now."

I smirked. "You can't boss me around, Rat. You can't even bring yourself to punch me." His mouth opened in a retort, but it dried in his throat and he simply stared at his feet. My hand flew forward and fisted in his hair, dragging his face towards me, but his eyes still couldn't meet mine.

"Look at me. _Look at me_, dammit!" I snarled, and grudgingly he did so.

And in those eyes of perfection I saw his whole life crumbling and decaying before my eyes.

Phase one began. I flew forwards, hungrily pressing out faces together, lips quickly locating his. He froze under my grip; I realised that my hands had somehow found their way to his arms, and were gripping them hard. I used them to pull him closer, angrily tearing at his lips until one of them split. I drank the blood greedily, revelling in the salty taste, and enjoying his whimper. He was so vulnerable, and I was destroying him. It felt pretty damn good.

But… his hands moved softly and slowly to sit on my hips, and hesitantly, oh so _gently_, he began to move his lips back onto mine. For no reason whatever my head began to spin, and I paused, unsure of what to do. In my plans, this was the point where I pulled away and beat the crap out of him, but now he was under my hands, a living, human _person_, I hesitated. He took this as compliance, and used it to press his tongue questioningly at my lips.

My head swam again, but this time it was in revulsion. He let out a heady moan beneath me, and I felt sick. I was going to throw up. This was _disgusting_. He was everywhere, clinging to me desperately, and my plan was backfiring. I was giving him too much… I needed to stop…

But… despite everything… it did feel a little good. Just a tiny, miniscule bit, so insignificant I only realised it much later, but it was there.

And this thought finally caused me to pull away.

Or, more accurately, I pushed away; I pushed _him _away, and he slammed nastily into a desk, landing awkwardly on the floor. I sprinted to the nearest bathroom and was violently sick in the first cubicle, as I realised that I had just kissed him. The thought was so disgusting that my stomach heaved again, leaving me dry-retching painfully into the bowl in front of me. Thankfully, the taste that Yuki had left on my lips was covered by a stinging, acidic feeling deep in the back of my throat, and I took in several deep breaths.

I wiped my face with a handful of toilet paper, shoved it into the bowl and flushed, staggering back outside to grip hard onto the sink. I stared at myself in the window, my angry orange eyes glaring right back at me. The thought that, minutes before, Yuki had been pressed up against my face made my stomach heave again. I shuddered slightly, gripping the bowl until minute cracks rippled across the surface and when I brought my hands away to splash my face with water tiny flakes fluttered to the floor.

This wasn't good. If kissing Yuki made me feel ill, how would I continue with my plan? I had to stay strong. This was a pretty awful way to 'beat' him, but it was the only choice I had left.

I was really that desperate.

**A/N**

**That very, **_**very **_**nearly pushes 6 pages. Aww, come on, I'm tired…**


	3. Phase Two

**A/N**

**Awww! –glomps screen- you guys have all been so nice to me so far! I appreciate it SO much! –happy dance-**

**I have had a reeeeally creepy song stuck in my head for AGES, so forgive the general insanity. ;) You know what it's like… don't you?**

**Dedicated to… omg… (more than one person! SORRY!) BruiseOfToday and XOoPunkPixieoOX because they are awesomely awesome. XD**

**SMUT! WOOO!**** Umm, not a lemon (next chapter!), but it gets pretty hairy. '**

**Disclaimer: NYAH. NOO.**

**Phase Two**

Part of me missed it. Part of me was revolted by it. But… god, I could still feel the _heat _that radiated off of his body when I clenched my palms together and dug my eyes deep into the balls of my hands. It was almost… intoxicating, I guess. But… I dunno… I didn't really want to _kiss _him again, 'cause that had been _disgusting_. I shivered at the thought of it. No… I had just loved the heat. He'd been so… _hot_.

Shut up! SHUT UP!

* * *

"Dinner!" God, what an annoying _voice_. Droning _on _and _on._

Shit. Things must be really bad if I'm getting annoyed at Tohru's voice. I mean, I loved her. She was always _there _for me. That's what love's about, right? "Coming," I muttered, but loud enough so she could hear me. I slouched out of bed (thankfully rather Yuki-free now) and down the hall, skulking at the top of the stairs for as long as I felt I could before grudgingly forcing myself.

The stupid Rat was helping Tohru place some of the heavier and hotter dishes, while Shigure danced around and generally got in the way. I smiled, watching them move… no, my eyes _didn't _rest on Yuki. Who told you that? "Oh, thank goodness, I didn't think you'd be eating tonight!"

I gave her a warm smile before sitting down beside Shigure, my eyes never leaving Yuki's. The look on his face was _priceless_. "I'm hungry. I had a busy day."

Yuki gasped quietly, before casting his face towards my lap. Not in front of Shigure, you idiot! I wanted to yell at him, but the food smelt good, and I was tired; it was starting to rain outside. "Aww, you young things… always scurrying around…"

"Shut up, dammit," I snarled at the Dog, almost on impulse, before ladling some miso into a dish. Ahh, miso. Why had I skipped dinner for so long?

I glanced up and caught Yuki's eye. Ah. That was why. I really, really shouldn't have done that. I felt my heartrate increase, and I couldn't pull my eyes away, no matter how hard I struggled. He had me captivated, and I couldn't move… his eyes… the tingling heat returned to the palms of my hands, and I wanted to jump across the table and pin him to the wall just so that _heat _could envelop me again…

He blinked, his eyes fuzzing and falling towards his lap. I shook my head slightly and my mind dragged back to the normal time, only to find a deathly silence and Tohru and Shigure watching us closely. "I said, Kyo, do you want some more miso?"

I didn't quite manage to stop staring at Yuki as my mouth moved on its own accord. "No thanks, I'm full." I forced my legs to move, staggering out of the room and running up the stairs. My heart and feet thudded in unison as I bolted upstairs and collapsed onto my bed, my hands fisting angrily in the sheets as I stuffed my face as hard as I could into the pillow until I could hardly breathe. Even now, I was still struggling to fight the urge that I could _just have that heat again_.

God, I was addicted, wasn't I?

* * *

The hot hands fisted in my hair angrily, and something warm and wet _lapped _at me, and I was screaming and bucking and writhing and begging and –

And… and… waking up. Oh. I stared fuzzily up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. Nothing seemed untoward about my room, and I slumped back, taking in deep, steady lungfuls of air. My whole body felt like it was on fire, something similar to liquid fire bolting through me at even the slightest shift. It took me a moment to think before I realised exactly why I was so sensitive, and slumped back with a groan. It had been moths since I'd had to do anything like that. I'd been too stressed out with impending graduation and…well… Tohru is too _sweet _to really think about anything like that.

So why was it any different for Yuki?

I shuddered slightly at this thought, before realising that if I wanted to get any sleep tonight I was going to have to do something. I sighed again, pulling myself out of my sweat-sodden sheets and limping oddly over towards the bathroom. I stripped quickly out of my soaking boxers and made the shower as cold as I possibly could.

This was definitely, definitely not good.

All of my discomfort was most definitely worth the look on Yuki's face when I came out of the shower half an hour later, soaking wet with only a towel wrapped around my waist and staring at him as he had most obviously come to see what I was doing. The idea of him, stranded in bed, lying there while listening to me… I had completely captivated him, and it felt pretty damn _good_.

He stood there, simply staring at me, while my hair sent tantalising drops across my shoulders. He tracked them down, taking a deep gulp as his eyeline _inevitably _rested on my waist. "Do you like it, Rat?" I murmured, taking a step forwards, making my towel trickle ever so slightly further down. The heat overtook me, and I slammed him into the wall, enjoying his soft whimper as his back hit the wall uncomfortably, but it was soon forgotten as his hands fisted in my hair, and his lips began to move greedily across my own. I sort of wanted to stop him pushing against me; I wanted to feel him buck and writhe under me, to know that I _controlled _him, but his tongue was hot and wet and kind of _good _against mine, and I just let him do what he wanted. It was making me feel good, and that's what this was all about, right?

"Kyo…" His voice was gentle and soft against my lips, and it mimicked the peaceful and tender caress his fingers were gently massaging against my back. "Kyo…"

I couldn't help it. I groaned. He was hot, and his tongue was wet, and his voice was just so _soft _against me… it felt good… but not in a hot, dominating, pleasurable way. It felt good in the way I wanted to hold him, and bury my face into his neck, and just _forget_ that in two weeks time I would lose everything, and everyone…

And the fact that I would lose him on top of this made me shudder and pull away. I couldn't _afford _to have anyone else to lose.

He was looking at me, with hot eyes that bored into my side, but I needed to get away. I needed to _think_. He was so damn_ cute _pinned against the wall, knees trembling as they tried to hold him, and I wanted to reach over and –

No, I _didn't_. This was about me _winning_. This was about me _beating_ _Yuki_. I couldn't… I wouldn't… I didn't… "I…" Neither of us seemed to think of the right word to say, and with that glorious heat gone I realized just how cold it was in this corridor. I muttered something under my breath and turned on my heel, running back into my bedroom and slamming the door. I collapsed against it for an immeasurable number of heartbeats, before I heard his quiet footsteps announce the opening and closing of his bedroom door.

What was _happening _to me?

* * *

Eventually, I figured, it wasn't that extraordinary. That damn rat always found a way to beat me, and maybe this… illogicality of what was happening was his way of trying to make me stop. But then again, when I had been over him, and his hot mouth on my neck, he certainly hadn't seemed like he wanted me to stop…

_No_, dammit. This was my only way out. Losing my head over this was way too stupid. I only had this one last opportunity, and then I was lost. I had better make it last.

It was time for Phase Two.

* * *

Damn. I didn't think school could really suck this much. "So, what you're saying to me, is that you want me to spend _three hours _of _my own time_, stuck in a _tiny little room_ with that bastard?" I yelled, and Mayu-sensei looked at me coolly.

"Yes, that's one way of putting it," she said calmly, and stared at me with her best 'I'm-a-teacher_-don't-mess-with-me_' face.

"Do you have any _idea_ – " I tried to begin, but she cut me off with a slight wave of the hand.

"All I know is that you're giving me an unnecessary headache, and I have a lot of things to do, so please get out of my way."

I snarled under my breath. "But – "

She sighed again. "Look, does _Yuki _have any problems with it?" she asked coolly, and I hesitated. Truth be told, I hadn't actually asked him yet. It wasn't that I was afraid – who said that? It was just that, well, I was just… not myself around him. I didn't like being near him. What's so bad about that? I've never liked being near him! "Then, quite frankly, it's going to happen. God knows you need the revision time, and Yuki - "

"Prince Perfect," I muttered sullenly under my breath, but knew it was no good.

"_Yuki _is an excellent student. Now please, move." I sullenly stepped to one side to let her pass, before glowering at her back and slamming the door shut. In a matter of minutes, I was expected to share a room for _three hours _'studying' with that _creep_.

I… I didn't know what I would do.

* * *

The fifteen minutes between Mayu-sensei leaving and Yuki arriving seemed to be nothing and eternity. Inside, my head had about a thousand different ideas over what exactly I should be doing, and most of them involved running. My leg muscles tensed at the idea. But no… my mind drifted back to my 'plan'. I would have to face it one day or another, and today might as well be it. My time was ticking, after all.

"Um…"

His voice was so much quieter than what I was used to. Normally it would dominate the space with such a subtle authority that even I found myself bending to its will. But now… it was fragile, and… it sort of felt a little broken. I wanted to walk over and hug him, but I kept my feet firmly planted into the chairs either side of my waist, before I realized this meant I was sprawled in an _incredibly_ provocative position, and he was staring at me like he wanted to eat me. Which, in all fairness, he probably did… I mean, I was pretty hot, right?

God, am I a Narcissist now too?

I suddenly realized with a blush that I had said that out loud, because he had chuckled quietly and put his head on one side like he used to. "Has it taken this long to work out how self-centered you really are?" he murmured, and I found myself blushing.

"Shut up, dammit," I snapped, but had to turn my face away to hide the shameful hotness that was spreading across my cheeks. He laughed quietly again and moved forwards, but his paces were unsteady and he paused halfway across the room. "Yuki…" I whispered, and suddenly his head shot up and he ran towards me, pushing me back into the window and slamming into me, his lips greedily searching and finding mine, slanting and nibbling and pressing and pulling. His front tooth nipped and sucked at my lip, before he forced his tongue inside my mouth and practically forced it down my throat, lapping the inside of my mouth with almost insatiable desire. "God,_Yuki_…"

"Kyo…" he whispered, and my hands moved up towards his hair, wrapping my fingers in as far as I could to stop it being so _perfect_, but then… I loved him like this… so _perfect_, with everything he said and did and made me feel so goddamn perfect.

Oh my God. Did I just… no, I didn't. No. Definitely not.

I pushed him away, taking in a deep gulp at breath, but he didn't get discouraged, teeth nipping and clawing against my neck as he settled for second breath as I miserably tried to learn how to breathe again. It didn't help as he started stroking his tongue in languid circles around the mark he'd made, and I… god, I just… my mind… it…

_No. Phase Two. You have to._

But did I really? I mean, he was pretty much obsessed with me, isn't that enough?

_No. You have to __beat__ him. So far, he's beating you._

I think that's what made me stop in the end, and force my head back into where it had to go. My hand began drifting down, spiraling idly down his front before I hooked my fingers over his belt.

His whole body tensed under my touch. Just how far was he willing to go with me?

Should I wait, before I continue? I mean, kissing less times than I could count on one hand was hardly due cause for me to start undressing him. "Kyo, pl-oh, please god _please_!" That seemed to settle the matter, and who was I to deny the Rat? My hand gently undid his belt, popping the button and gently working down the zipper. He groaned as the back of my hand slowly drifted across his groin, and his hips snapped forwards angrily. I repeated the teasing, soft touch, and looked down; his shirt, which had become torn and unbuttoned during the process showed his muscles rippling under his skin as he bucked into me. "Kyo!" he gasped, and I decided to apply a _little _more pressure.

"Yes…?" I questioned quietly, nipping on his throat and sending a deep vibration through his body, and he moaned and gasped.

"Don't shit with me! KYO!" I snuck my hands underneath his boxer strap, and gently, slowly, softly teased them down. He gasped at the cool air, but then everything was forgotten as I began to move my hand.

Phase Two had begun.

His head was thrown back, his neck revealing the scars that marred his neck which had most definetly not been there when he entered. His eyes were wide, his pupils dilated till his eyes had just a thin strip of gray. "Kyo, Kyo, Kyo, Kyo!" He repeated my name over and over and over under his breath, like a mantra, begging and pleading and bucking underneath me –

I was winning. _I was winning_. A deep, sickening blow in my stomach made me consider for one moment that this was so much more than a battle for Yuki.

I would destroy him.

But why do I care? Wasn't that what this was about?

I realized, that with my musings, I had stopped moving, and Yuki was staring at me with foggy eyes. He moved up, kissing me softly, and whispered my name one more time. "Kyo…"

And he came, bucking against me with a harsh cry I tried to swallow with my mouth but still reverberated around the room in a fashion which I was sure would make the windows shatter, but all that happened was his back arched painfully and both he and I were absolutely _soaked_.

The harsh, salty smell invaded me and stripped me bare of everything. It made my stomach turn, and I felt my throat close slightly. He moaned, long and hard, head flopping forward onto my shoulder, and I found my hands naturally draping around his waist. He fell asleep against my shoulder with a sigh, and I glanced at the clock. We had more than enough time. I could let him sleep for now.

But…

How much was I willing to break him?

**A/N**

**Aha… I was going to be so cruel and leave it where it says "Just how far…" 'cause I'm **_**evil**_**, but I was nice to ya. ;)**

**Hehe… next chapter lemon! (Probably.) Phase Three. Yup.**

**Umm… review?**


	4. Phase Three

**A/N**

**I am SO sorry. I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.**** Will this make up for that fact?**

**Dedicated to Victoria Alexis, Thura Huodae, Delicate Snowflakes and Cami Willow, much apologies to those not mentioned yet, you will all get a go!**

**Don't own it. Thanks for reading.**

**Phase Three**

_I was frightened._

_But Yuki was frightened too, if his trembling body was anything to go by. My hands fisted in the sheets either side of his sweat-sodden body, and I rested my forehead on the nape of the neck…_

_The muscles of my legs clenched…_

_And I slid inside._

* * *

It was all so soon, so unbearably soon… I had to make _decisions_, and that was one thing that I utterly, totally hated doing. I hated having to choose, to eliminate people, places, opportunities.

With so few opportunities left at my disposal, it seemed criminal to eliminate anything.

Yuki… loved me. Doing this to him was the cruellest, most horrible thing I could ever do, and it was tearing me apart to think that I was going to. But… it was so hard it was breaking something inside of me. I had to choose whether I was going to do something that meant everything to me, or continued to protect the people I…

The people I what? Cared for? No… Yuki's my enemy… you don't care about your enemy. You're not supposed to.

But since when had I ever listened to 'supposed to'?

* * *

I stood at the doorway to Shigure's office, my hands balled into fists and hanging limply at my sides. I needed to ask… I needed to tell someone. The 'author' hadn't looked up from his supposed manuscript, and when I opened my mouth to say I was there it felt like there was something furry wedged into my throat.

_Like a little rat…_

I pressed my fist into my forehead and swore loudly before turning and marching into the kitchen, where I inspected the counter with great detail to prevent myself from screaming. Well, the Dog will have heard that. For once in my life, I didn't care what people thought about me, I just knew that whatever this was with Yuki if something didn't stop me both our hearts would break.

And I still wasn't sure whether mine would break from the strain or the fact I might actually care about that damn rat.

* * *

Yuki seemed to be crying so much more often. It sort of saddened me, too, but I didn't know why… the house just felt less, I dunno… cheerful without him. Tohru was certainly feeling it, and this was making me very, very annoyed. She seemed to think that it was somehow _her _fault, and whenever she tried to apologise for it Yuki would smile his broken smile and her own heart would break again. My heart was breaking too, I think, because whenever he smiled like that my stomach would twist and my head would swim, and it felt like something had snapped inside of me.

So his sobs coming quietly from the living room were nothing new to me as I came down the staircase. I hovered in the doorway, before gloomily walking into the kitchen and I found myself pouring myself a glass of milk. I resisted the urge to lap at it – these little fetishes were really annoying – and trekked back to the living room. I stood at the doorway for a moment, watching Yuki with his head in his hands. There was no noise, but his shoulders were shaking and his head was trembling. I quietly moved across the room, sitting down on the couch beside him. He jumped as the seat moved, and hastily tried to wipe the tears away, but I grabbed onto his wrists and just looked at him. He quickly lowered his eyes away from mine, but I squeezed his wrists until his face snapped towards mine again. "Yuki," I murmured, and he flinched at the sound of his name.

"Please, don't. Just… hold me?" I opened my mouth, before closing it, nodding silently and pulling him into a soft hold. He buried his face into my chest, his shoulders still shaking, and his tears slowly running into the fabric of my – yes, black – T-shirt. It didn't feel… wrong, like before. Before, I couldn't stand his skin being near mine, but now he felt so warm and strong next to me I didn't want to push him away. I kissed the top of his hair softly, and found myself wondering how I'd ever hated this smell.

"Yuki," I murmured, and he shook his head softly.

"Please don't. Please."

"Yuki, I have to ask. Tohru's getting worried." He raised his face to mine, and his eyes widened.

"I didn't want to worry her," he whispered, his voice cracking dangerously. "I didn't want to worry either of you."

I smiled. "Who says I've been worrying about you, cuso nezumi?"

He laughed softly, gathering more handfuls of my shirt to burrow into. "And I thought you were self centred," he chuckled.

"You never did look at yourself, did you?" I joked, and he smiled; I felt his lips quirk against my chest. I sighed. "I'm not going to stop asking, Yuki," I murmured, and I felt him exhale gently against my chest. '_I care about you too much'_ seemed to present itself to my mind, but…

"I… I know." He sighed softly. "I just… I don't know what's happening anymore." I looked away. Sometimes I knew just what he meant. "Kyo, I…" _I have so little time left. I have to take advantage of you… I'm sorry… _"Kyo, I love you."

"Me too." It was far too easy to say. Far too easy. He choked, let another tear fall before sobbing once in earnest and pulling me closer and kissing me. This time my head did spin, but it wasn't out of disgust any more… but… he was crying against my chest, and his tears were softly staining my t-shirt. I wanted to apologise to him, hold him, promise him it would be okay…

But if it was, then I would get locked inside forever. I was so goddamn selfish, but I had to be, I just _had to be_. Oh, god… I was beginning to doubt myself… please… I have to stay strong! "Make love to me, Kyo…" My heart pounded into life. His touch sent spasms of shock throughout my whole body. "Please?"

"Okay."

_Phase Three began._

* * *

He was asleep still, curled up on his side, his hand clenched tightly on the patch that I had been lying on beside him. I couldn't let my eyes leave him, and my hand was desperate to ghost down his body and hold him again, because I knew that it was all that he ever wanted, and that it would be so damn beautiful to lie there and just be with him –

No… I can't… I just _can't_… I won't break again. I won't fall in love again.

I couldn't stand it any longer. _I can't take this anymore._ This was it. This was my decision. I'd done what I had to do; it was what I did next that decided my 'fate'.

I clenched my fists and walked inside, staring intently at the phone. Why was there no one here? Why was there no one to stop me? Why was it so easy to pick up the phone, dial the numbers, say the words?

"I've beaten him."

**A/N**

**Muahahahaha…**

**I suck at lemons. Nyeh.**

**I am so sorry! It was a pathetically short update, but I have zero inspiration and wanted to give you lot something to chew on while I work on the next, which is an evil one as I think you can probably see from where this is going.**

**Much love to all of you that's put up with me – and my final message is that Sparrington is love.**


	5. Akito

**A/N**

**I am a horrible person, neh? Aww… sorry guys!**

**Dedicated to: ****MissXHiem****, for one of the most hyper reviews I think I've ever had, ****mandarin' peel****, for amazing support, ****mousecat ****for being generally awesome, ****Rennie the fanfiction princess**** for being such a star and ****reenastar**** for sticking with me this long! Thank you!**

**Akito**

His hand tried to pull me close – but I was on the other side of the room, leant against the doorway. It closed on thin air, and in his sleep he frowned. His fist curled around the sheet, pulling it towards him. Hatori murmured his name once more, and his eyes eventually flickered open. He stared up at me blearily, and although he could tell not to reach for me, his eyes burned into me so hard I knew he wanted to. "Get dressed," Hatori muttered, throwing him a shirt and trousers. I'd had the decency to put his boxers back on.

He did so painstakingly slowly; at this time, on this morning, he shouldn't have to be doing anything challenging. He should be lying there with me. _But he's not_, I reminded myself. _He can't ever be_. Eventually, after an agonising, gut-wrenching wait he was ready, and he stood off the bed. I looked at him. "Akito's waiting for you," I said, and I tried to keep my tone harsh, steady. It would be so much easier for him if he fell out of love with me now.

Yuki nodded, his eyes falling to the floor. Even though I could tell he was so confused that name had told him everything he needed to know. Hatori placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and they walked out of the room. I stood at the window and watched as they drove away, before pulling on my coat and following them.

Our lord and master had already been filled in about the exact terms of which I had managed to beat Yuki. Well… I say the exact terms. I'd told him that I had, and Yuki had agreed. All I'd said was that I'd crushed him emotionally, or some such bull. I couldn't tell him what we'd _really _done. No, that was Yuki's embarrassment, and Yuki's alone.

Akito didn't need any prompting from me as we knelt in front of him. He strode across the room, slapped Yuki once and walked back towards the window. "You made it just in time, hmm?" I nodded, but I couldn't raise my gaze from the floor.

"The deal," I said hurriedly, and he sighed, nodding.

"I suppose you did fulfil it. I didn't think that you'd be smart enough to realise you didn't have to beat him… physically. But you did." Although I could tell Yuki was confused to hell he kept silent, his hands resting on his knees and his head bowed. "Well, alright. I won't confine you." The words were like electricity jolting through my veins. It was the one thing, _the one thing _I had wanted to hear for so long. My heart simply soared and I wanted to cry. _I wasn't being confined. I was __free_. I had a life now. "You may leave."

I stood and turned, walking towards the door, but halfway I paused and glanced back. "What about Yuki?" I asked, and I saw his hands clench slightly at his name before relaxing again.

Akito appeared to not have noticed, his eyes drifting towards mine again. "He's staying. With me." This time, we both noticed Yuki's little shudder.

I snapped my eyes back to him. "Why?"

Akito's eyes were wide and innocent. "But, my little monster, I need _someone _to play with, hmm?"

The little rat lodged itself in my throat again, and I stared at him with horror. What had I done? _What had I done? _The only rational thought left sprung out of my mouth. "Then he has till graduation," I stammered, and Akito looked at me. "I did, so it's only fair he did too."

Akito sighed melodramatically. "Oh, I _suppose_. I can let him have four more days of freedom." His eyes were laughing as I walked across to Yuki and hooked an arm under his, and we left.

Hatori was waiting for us. He seemed surprised firstly that we were both leaving, and secondly that neither of us appeared to have a mark on us. But Hatori knew as well as anyone that Akito didn't need to have to _hit _us to hurt us. He drove us home, and I was worried that he'd want to talk to Shigure, but apparently that confrontation would be for later as he dropped us by the lane and left us to walk alone. Yuki's face never left the floor, and we simply walked in silence. "I don't blame you," he whispered, and even though it was quiet I heard it _painfully _loud. "I just want you to know, I don't blame you. I know… I know what it's like to be with him, and I didn't want that future for you."

I stared at him. "You… you knew I was going to be confined?"

Yuki nodded slightly. "I heard you and Shigure talking about it. It didn't really surprise me, but the idea… I know what it feels like. I didn't want that for you." I realised we'd stopped walking, and I looked at him incredulously.

"You let me win." Yuki nodded, his eyes on the floor. "You knew, and you let me win!"

Yuki's smile was broken. "That wasn't your future. You were much too happy, too full for that sort of thing. Too loved." A single tear tracked down his face as he stared back along the lane. "It's not for you," he whispered. _It's for me_. He didn't need to say it, but we both knew it. Eventually, he looked back at me. "But everything I said to you, I still mean it. Truly. That's why I did it."

This was way too much to take. Even now, even this that damn rat had beaten me. My whole plan was backfiring in front of me, and I realised that I didn't know what I felt anymore. It was so _painful_. "I… I didn't want this to happen."

Yuki nodded, looking at the horizon again. "I know."

"I didn't want to – I don't know how I – " I felt my voice break, and I ran the back of my hand across my mouth. "Yuki, I – "

He nodded. "I know, Kyo. I know."

"I didn't want to – to fall in love with you. But I think I did," I whispered, and his eyes were big and sad as he looked at me. "I think I did, because I can't think straight and everything _hurts _and I feel so, so… so – "

He placed a finger against my mouth with a broken, sad smile. "It's okay. I know how you're feeling. I really do. I've been there." I closed my eyes and took in a shuddering breath. "Will you… will you kiss me again? Please?" I flickered them open and looked at him, and he smiled.

I stepped towards him and ran my hand across his face, and he shuddered into my touch. He whispered my name and my heart burst, I swear, because it hurt so much inside my chest it must have. My thumb ran across his mouth and he smiled softly, his eyes closed. I leant forwards and kissed him, and everything just exploded into beauty, softness, wonder, and this was all so goddamn perfect that I just stayed there, with sunshine around me and Yuki here with me nothing else mattered. It was _perfection_. And when I pulled away I knew, I _knew_. "I love you," I whispered, and he smiled, his forehead resting gently against mine. I said it again, and again, because it sounded so wonderful, and it meant so much, and I – I –

Everything was so perfect.

* * *

Of course, Tohru was freaked out of her mind. Shigure hadn't really known anything, so hadn't been able to tell her anything. She'd managed to convince herself that Haru had kidnapped us both and taken us to Alabama (location kindly provided by that damn dog), so she was more than a little ecstatic to discover us under our own will and still on the same continent. We listened to her babbling and her general happiness at us being here lifted my heart more – if that's possible, which it must have been, 'cause I felt so damn happy I thought rainbows would start springing out of my ears. "But is everything okay? Really?"

Her big eyes stared at us, unblinking. Yuki smiled, and traced something on the back of my hand. "Yeah. Everything's fine," he said with his princely smile – something that this house hadn't seen for a very long time. Tohru noticed it too, and she just exploded into hyper-happiness, muttering something about cooking and perhaps Okonomiyaki. We snuck out back into the garden, and stood with our eyes on the blue horizon. We sat down on the grass, and I realised our hands were nearly touching, so closed the gap and wrapped my fingers around his. He smiled and rested his head on my shoulder, his eyes closing. He was so warm and soft next to me that I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Yuki?" I whispered, and he hummed in response. "Kiss me again." He tilted his face towards mine briefly and brushed our lips together briefly before looking back down at the floor. I fell back, looking towards the sky, and with a squeak Yuki fell on top of me. I let out an 'oof' as all the air was quickly removed from my lungs, and he chuckled softly. I pushed him off my chest – I figured he didn't want me to suffocate just yet – and he lay beside me, his arms trickling around my stomach.

I knew Shigure was probably watching. I knew that we shouldn't be doing this. But I as sure as hell didn't care as I found his silky hair and just closed my eyes, falling into a deep, happy stupor.

We were eventually woken by Tohru, who although earlier had wrapped a blanket around us was now a little worried about frostbite and had decided to make us come in. She shook me awake, and I nodded at her. She took the hint and left me to wake Yuki, but I knew that I shouldn't – over the next few days I doubted either of us would get much sleep. He'd better have this while he could. I gently lifted him –_bridal style, _my brain noticed with a little chuckle – and led him inside, laying him down on his bed. I gently pulled the covers over him, before trekking back downstairs again. "Kyo!" I turned to Shigure with a glare, and he simply grinned.

"What?" I snarled. His smile didn't go. He simply turned around and walked back into his office. I snarled again, before pacing after him and only stopping myself from slamming the door so I didn't wake Yuki. "Well? What is it?" I snapped at him, but his eyes were grave and hard. I sighed and slumped down against a bookshelf.

"Kyo…"

"Yeah, I know. I know we should probably not try and do any of that shit in front of you, or anyone, in case they go rat to Akito, but right now I don't give a damn. We only have four days left, so for crying out loud _leave us the hell alone_." Shigure sighed softly, his eyes wandering out to the horizon. It was dark now, and despite everything a few stars were glimmering softly. "And don't you _dare _say it's not fair, or any of that bull. Don't you think we don't _know _that already?" I snapped, and he simply looked at me.

"I wouldn't dream of giving _you _a lecture on equality, Kyo," he said with a chuckle. He sighed again. "No… I just wanted to say… be careful, okay?" I snorted and he smiled. "Yeah, I know, but I'm your guardian. I'm supposed to say these things."

I did smile this time. "Thanks, Shigure." He nodded, and I stood, walking towards the door. I paused, my eyes running across him; his face was turned towards the stars, and I could already he was thinking of other things. Other people. I realised I didn't want to know who, and walked back into the corridor.

**A/N**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	6. Proof

**A/N**

**Okay, you guys all need to run off and thank Rennie, because without her this chapter would not be here right now. This is dedicated to you, 'cause without your nagging I wouldn't have ever written this. Thanks sweetie :)**

**Uhh… OMG. This might be the last chapter. But… I can't. –sob- Okay… I wussed out. Next chapter is the last. ****PENULTIMATE CHAPTER.**** I really love that word for no reason.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Never has been.**

**Proof**

Holding him was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, and something I would never, ever forget.

There were so many times when I'd slept, or more accurately lain awake with this _craving _to have someone to cuddle close, to hold, to be hot and warm and close beside me. I'd never have thought it was_ Yuki_who would fulfil me like this, but it was, and I couldn't be more grateful.

But it was killing me that we had only one day left together.

I loved the way he was so dreamy, so sleepy, so goddamn soft and beautiful all the time. I spent nearly the whole week in tears because I was just so goddamn desperate to _touch _him, to have him _hold _me, whilst knowing that we couldn't do anything at school. Why the hell did we have to turn up at school for Yuki's last three days of freedom? It wasn't _fair_. But I could tell this was how Yuki wanted to spend his time – with his friends at school during the day, and making love to me during the evening.

Well… I didn't have any complaints about the latter, at least.

* * *

"I want to prove it to you."

Yuki looked up sleepily from playing with my hair to kiss me softly. "Hmm?"

"I want to prove to you that I love you." He pulled me closer, wanting to make up for his nakedness with my heat, and I complied, finding myself smothered with his warmth. I kissed his neck softly, pressing my teeth gently into his throat.

He sighed happily, his eyes closing and his head lolling back. "And how do you plan to do that?"

"I want you to make love to me," I murmured, nipping at his neck again.

Yuki rolled his eyes. "Kyo, we've made love many times, what makes you think – "

I rolled my eyes right back at him. "You're not listening. I've made love to you, I want _you_," I poked his chest, "to make love to _me._" His eyes fluttered in confusion and surprise. "Hey. No panicky meltdown." I leant down and kissed him again, feeling him calm down immediately and lose himself again. Whenever I'd suggested it before he'd practically ran away, sometimes when he was stark-bollock naked – which, while being a rather funny and fantastic sight for me, not something you want Shigure or (heaven forbid) Tohru to see. "I want you to."

I continued to tease him with little kisses rocking across his neck. "But – nnh – Kyo – what if I – _oh god – _fuck up?"

I laughed evilly. "Oh, please do."

He rolled his eyes. "God, if I knew – _oh fuck – _you'd turn out to be – nnnh – such a pervert_ – ohdeargods_ – I would never have kissed you – _Jesus._"

"You kissed me?" I teased. "I think you'll find _I _kissed _you_." He let out an incoherent grumble and I continued my kisses, creeping down his neck and across his chest.

"Kyo – "

"Shh," I whispered, continuing to kiss his navel. "Don't worry about it." I heard him shudder underneath me, letting out a slow, steady breath, trying to calm himself down. I felt his hand reluctantly creep down my body and grinned evilly at him, but his head was turned away, his lip bitten in concentration. He freaked again at the small of my back – I felt his hand begin to shake – but his breathing eventually slowed down again, and he leant up to kiss me – a distraction – as after running a few soothing circles he slowly crept his hand further and pushed a finger inside.

I let out a shaky breath, my hand falling down onto his shoulder, pulling him up beside me until we were sitting in front of each other on the bed. It wriggled a little, and with every movement I felt myself wince, but tried to control my face. I had to keep it blank, or he'd bolt again. "Kyo?"

I kept my voice carefully husky. "More," I murmured, and I seemed to have been good enough as he pushed forwards even further, and my breath hitched in my throat.

One down, two to go. Oh, and something much more substantial.

But one little step at a time.

I felt the second begin to writhe forward and the beginning of a panic attack. I forced myself to breathe, slowly, calmly, it's okay – it's okay – _okay, it really isn't, that fucking _**hurt**_** – **_I can't believe I do this to Yuki every time. He's so goddamn wanton, I don't understand him at all. The fingers separated again, digging further inside me. Wow, I didn't think anything could go that far up my ass. I felt my whole body trying to repel them, forcing myself to calm down. _Calm. Calm. _Calm is the key, Kyo. Breathing would be good too. I let out another shaky breath to cover the third finger, and forced myself to flop entirely onto him to cope with the stretching that followed. "Kyo?"

Again the little trembling voice. "I'm okay," I gasped. _I'm really not, I'm really not, it's breaking me – it hurts – please stop –_

I ignored the little voice in my head and kissed him again, forcing his hand out of me, straddling his hips. "Kyo?" God, he sounded terrified. I had to be the strong one here.

"I want you… inside me," I gasped, spluttering. Yuki gently rolled me over, hooking my legs around his waist, and did what I said.

Shit. Shitshitshitfucking_shit._

I felt myself scream, trying to push away, but there was only one direction to go and that was onto Yuki – but he was pulling out, and the pain was going, and the burning fiery _hot_ was going away, and I found myself curled up into a ball on the bed, trembling. Yuki was crying, shaking, running his hands across me. "Kyo – KyoKyoKyo please don't – don't – "

"Don't what, cuso nezumi?" I murmured, pushing myself onto my elbows and kissing him gently.

"Don't go – " In a way that really shouldn't be funny Yuki reminded me a lot of Rin; he was twitching, looking like he wanted to run away any second.

"I'm not going anywhere," I murmured again, pulling him down onto my chest, where he stopped shaking, folding into me. "I promise." I kissed the top of his head. "Besides, I was beginning to rather like it," I lied, and he looked up.

"Really?" His eyes were full of hope.

"Really," I reiterated, kissing his forehead. "I want this. I want to prove myself to you." I kissed him again. "Let's try again, hmm?" He nodded, rising above me, making sure that his fingers were still locked with mine as he straddled me and began to move again. It didn't hurt as much as before, and I closed my eyes, forcing myself to relax. "Yuki," I said, keeping my voice deliberate, soft, trying not to spook him. "Yuki." I winced as he started moving again, bodies shaking, hands twisting, breath wrenched from us until he stopped again.

"That's – unh – it. I'm in," Yuki gasped, and I nodded, squeezing my legs experimentally and immediately wishing I hadn't as I was overtaken by a horrible spasm of pain.

"Okay," I whispered, saying the word over and over, a chant, rhythmic, soothing. "Okay. Okay. Okay." It didn't feel as bad as it had before, and… I think I liked the _idea _of what Yuki was doing more than the action itself, but it felt… good. I was connected to him – I was part of him. This was how it should be. I was so utterly, utterly his, and this just _said_ everything. "Oh god – don't move." I scrunched up my face, my face falling onto his shoulder yet again. "Not – nnh. Not yet." I twisted my hips again and felt him gasp, collapsing onto me, and we fell backwards. My insides were wrenched again and I whimpered.

"Kyo – " His voice sounded horribly broken. "Kyo, you're bleeding."

I didn't even want to look, focusing instead on his eyes. "I don't care," I muttered, pulling him down for a kiss. His soft mouth took away the pain for a second, and I relaxed, feeling totally at ease.

And Yuki began to move. Damn, I'd forgotten what an advantage-taker he could be. But I didn't really mind – the physical damage had been done. Yuki's gasps, moans, mewls above me were making me shake, and I felt heat, pure heat, pure magic, pure _love _running through me, and I felt myself crying, because this was so – perfect – and then the happiness distorted, magnified, erupted, and it was pleasure – hot, angry pleasure – that tore through me, and I screamed – I screamed Yuki, YUKIYUKIYUKI, I screamed his name so many times my throat burned and the tears turned to molten gold as they scorched my face, burnt me, and everything in life was so goddamn _perfect_.

Okay, I understood his pain now. I fell over for the third time, attempting to walk to the bathroom. Yuki was stretched out on the bed behind me, his eyes glittering with amusement as I picked myself up and tried again. "Fuck, Yuki!"

He giggled. _Yuki just giggled_, my brain ogled. "Welcome to the world of the uke," he teased, and I glared at him.

"I'll never do _that _again," I snapped, and immediately knew I shouldn't have as Yuki cringed in the corner of my eye. I limped over to him, pulling him into my arms. "Hey, don't go all emo on me." I pulled him into my lap and his head fell back onto my shoulder, and I took advantage of his new position to plant a soft kiss on his mouth. "I love you."

He laughed. "I know." His eyes glittered. "I really know."

"Told you I could prove it to you," I murmured softly.

He rolled his eyes. "You never needed to, baka neko," he grinned. "I knew before you did."

I rolled my eyes and cuffed him gently on the head, but I had a suspicion that he was telling the truth.

**A/N**

**Cute smuffness. (Smutty fluffness. ;))**

… **NEXT CHAPTER IS THE END! –manic laugh as I dig my own grave-**

**Review? Pleeeeeease? ;) And go glomp Rennie, because she is my muse. –nods-**


	7. Back to the Start

**A/N**

**Um… wow.**

**It's the last chapter.**

**I had Coldplay's The Scientist playing when I wrote this. That's where the title came from. I actually cried. I've never cried in a story before.**

**This one is dedicated to Yabun, thank you for your review, and also to the wonderful Rennie-chan. Sequel to LCITS is up after this. (When I finally write it.) Thanks for reading.**

**Back to the Start**

"Yuki." I kissed his forehead again, and his eyes fluttered open slowly. "We have to go to school." His arm wrapped slowly around me and pulled me closer as he struggled up, blinking at the intrusive light and sound that was around him. "I've waited as long as I can." He yawned, his head falling back as he stared toward the ceiling.

"Nnnh." He rubbed his eyes and reached up, kissing me softly. "Goodmorning."

"'Morning," I murmured back. I ran a hand along his face. His eyes were still foggy, and I sighed, kissing him again. "Come on. Come take a shower with me." He moaned softly, but either at the thought of the shock of cold water or us naked in a shower together he grinned a tad ravenously, bolted up and danced across the bedroom floor, pulling me up into another kiss. "Love you." He simply laughed.

"I rather thought we would be past that by now." I grinned a little and kissed him back.

"We're going to be late!" Tohru flustered at the foot of the stairs as we walked towards her, our fingers softly wrapped together, Yuki's head resting on my shoulder. "No time to eat!"

"Boys, there's a delivery for you!" Shigure poked his head around the door, two packages in hand. "They're from Aaya."

Yuki groaned. "Great. Costumes." I looked at him, puzzled. "For the dance-ball thingy tonight. We have to go in formalwear."

I looked at Shigure incredulously. "And _Aaya _designed our suits?"

Yuki sighed. "I said he could. Tohru suggested it."

I didn't know what to feel. "Uh… right. School."

Tohru nodded with a smile. "School."

* * *

The dreariest day of my life.

Ever.

There is nothing quite as boring as the last day of school. It's supposed to be fun, and cool, and 'yay, it's the holidays!' but I've always just found it abysmal. Yuki was tied up in School Council _on the last day of his freedom. _This stupid prom needed organising, and Manabe, the biggest procrastinator I've ever _seen_ had done bugger all and now Yuki had to do everything.

So I didn't see him all day. I was stuck with a happy Tohru, Uotani and Hanajima as they giggled their way through their gap-year plans, when I wanted to just scream and pull Yuki away.

When I finally saw him again his eyes were dull and cold. I waited till we were back home until I simply pulled him into a hug. His hands hesitated, hovering for a moment before closing around me clingingly and tugging me close. I felt a single tear push its way onto my own shirt, and his body rippled underneath me.

There was no need to say anything. We both knew we were lost now.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs, my hand hovering on the banister as I looked up. Tohru was gabbling to Shigure, a long, red dress floating gently across her frame. Hatori had refused to lend a suit, so Shigure had 'decided' not to come. I sighed, drawing into their conversation for a moment to snap at Shigure to stop being a pervert. I saw his eyeline. You don't want to know.

Yuki was halfway down the stairs before I turned and noticed him. The suit Aaya had designed was, of course, perfectly tailored, crisp, soft, elegant and in a white that somehow incorporated the entire spectrum while managing to only be white. I couldn't help but stare at him as he walked down, and I could see the blush in his cheeks from what he believed was a stupid costume.

Shigure and Tohru were still babbling away beside me, and I stepped forwards, taking his hands. He stood on the stair above me, blushing in the light from Shigure's study. "You look beautiful," I murmured to him, and the flush intensified. I leant up and softly pressed our mouths together, _Yuki _just washing over me. When I came away I felt that I was crying, and he brushed it away softly. I dropped a hand to one side and, with one hand still entwined, we walked with Tohru out of the door.

* * *

The party was dreadful.

Well, as a party it was really actually quite good – the music was right, the food was good, and we all felt adult at the fact there was alcohol provided, even though none of us had the guts to sip at saké in front of our teachers.

What I mean is for two people in the room the party marked the end of life. The end of freedom. The end of love.

It was due to end at midnight – because all such parties had to – and after many hours of heartache, watching Yuki socialise and wanting to throw up on the sweet, sickly punch, completely ignoring sideways looks from my 'fanclub' for a dance (I noticed Yuki was receiving – and ignoring – similar looks) I had almost had enough. But somehow I managed to hold it together. I will never know how.

But at 11:56 I couldn't take it any longer and stormed across the floor, fisting Yuki's shirt and dragging him outside. There was silence at our action for a moment – I could tell people were regretting that we were fighting today, of all days – but as soon as we got to the ornamental fountain (surrounded by irises and lilies) I grabbed hold of him and held him close. "God, Yuki," I whispered, running my hand through his hair and pulling him as close as I could.

"Kyo," he croaked, kissing me desperately. "KyoKyoKyo. God, I love you so much."

I felt the tears on my face. "I love you. I love you." This, this was pain. This was it. I never knew it would be this hard. "I love you even though you're a pompous fool with girly hair."

He laughed softly, and his smile broke my heart. "I love you even though you're loud, and arrogant, and think you're such a monster." I kissed him again, my nails raking through his cheeks, and he shuddered in front of me.

I rested against his lips for a moment, our shuddering passing between each other. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, my hand moving across his shoulder towards his neck. He buried his face in my neck, his hands fisted in the material on my back.

My hand trembled as I pressed against the pressure point. I felt him gasp, shudder in front of me before collapsing with a sigh into my arms. "I love you way too much to see you give yourself up for me." I kissed his mouth softly and laid him on the ground as I walked back towards the school.

I was shaking as I walked out of the school. I saw two figures by the gate – Akito and Hatori. I knew my hands were balled beside me, and my shoulders were shaking, and I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face. Akito looked at me curiously as I stood in the half-light of the moon. The school clock chimed midnight. "Where's Yuki?"

"He's not coming," I croaked. "I'm here."

He cocked an eyebrow. "I see."

"I'm the monster," I whispered. "I deserve it. Not him." _Please don't take him. Please. _I looked up at Hatori. _Look after him. Please look after him. _Hatori nodded slightly, and I shuddered again.

"Very well," Akito murmured, gesturing to the car beside him. "Take one last look at the stars. It's the last of them you'll ever see."

I didn't look up.

Yuki's amethyst eyes far surpassed any constellation, any burning ball in the sky.

And they would never go out.

* * *

_Yuki_

* * *

My heart pounded in my chest as I ran for the exit, the air burning my lungs. The dance was dispersing, people milling towards the exit of the school. I desperately tried to ignore the kissing couples, those holding hands, those saying goodbye. I'm not stupid. I figured out what he'd done. I just hoped I wasn't too late.

_God, I can't be too late. I can't._

I knew I was when I saw Hatsuharu watching the car drive away. My speed doubled, the floor pelting away from underneath me. "Kyo!" I screamed, calling after him. I ran straight past Haru, but his arm came out and across my chest. I struggled against the hold. "Kyo!" I called after the retreating headlights. "Kyo! KYO! Please!" The two red dots disappeared across the distance, and I screamed. A raw, harsh cry. I turned and pushed my face into Haru's chest, unable to stop the tremors that racked through me.

_Please don't ever leave me._

_Please._

_Please don't go._

_Please don't leave me alone again._

* * *

_Kyo_

* * *

I warned you from the start.

This story was about life. My life. And my life has always been horribly real. People die. People get hurt.

In real life there are no happy endings.

**A/N**

**Thank you to:**

**Yabun, shipet100, Victoria Alexis, Thura Huodae, mandarin' peel, kuzon234ray, Chaell, MissXHiem, Cami Willow, Bruise of Today, Delicate Snowflakes, XOoPunkPixieoOX, mousecat, reenastar and of course the amazing Rennie.**

**(I really must go write the sequel to LCITS now.)**

**This has been Alichay.**


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